Since December

I shall have to update on last semester at another time. Right now, I'm just going to let you all know where I am and what I'm doing right now.

Not much, really.

I graduated from College of the Ozarks with a major in International Business and minors in French and Philosophy & Religion. I did actually make Summa Cum Laude, but there were a few moments of stress and doubt. CofO doesn't have a ceremony in December, so mid-term graduates walk with the May graduates. Right now, I plan to head back up to Branson for graduation in May.

Because of my awkward graduation date and my exceptionally heavy class load last semester (22 hrs.), I did not have a job or any other plans lined out for January. I made it through Christmas with little problems and headed back up to Branson for a weekend to turn in applications and look for an apartment. This is what I really wanted to do: get a job, live in Branson, hang out with my friends, audit a few classes at CofO, and wait around until September when I plan to move to France to teach English.

What really happened is that no jobs to my liking have come open in Branson. I headed south to visit my grandmother in Texas. My grandfather passed away two summers ago, and she's been living on her farm alone ever since (with abundant visits from family close enough to do so). I asked her if she would be interested in me moving down to live with her for a few months before I move to France, and she said she'd love to have me if I could do it. I decided to shop around for jobs in Texas and see what came up. I currently have 2-4 leads and have not exhausted the opportunities yet. Though it's not quite what I had in mind after graduating, I'm excited for this opportunity for many reasons.

My grandmother is a very loving, generous, and caring woman. She's also very wise but at the same time "up-to-date" with the real world. Her mind is sharp and she's in great physical condition too (especially considering her age). She just makes life so very comfortable to be around. This makes it sound like I'm letting her wait on me hand and foot, but that really isn't true either. She's more than happy to make me dinner or wash my clothes, but in reality we do a lot of things together, and I do a lot of things for her. That's not because she needs me to but because she's the type of person that makes just being around her relaxing and comfortable. It feels like a holiday even though I'm doing a fair amount of work. For example, getting up and helping her get breakfast ready at 7:00 isn't really as hard as mornings have always been for me (my former roommates and siblings can all acount to the fact that I am NOT a morning person), though I would still rather wait for breakfast until 10:00.... ;)

Last semester, I also got interested in pursuing a Master's Degree in Psychology or Counseling. Right now I'm leaning to Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling/Therapy. I had planned to do this online via Capella University, but the program is significantly more expensive than I originally thought ($40,700) versus much more reasonably priced Christian universities (Liberty University online or Southwest Baptist Seminary in Fort Worth which both cost less than half of Capella's tuition). I wanted to avoid Christian institutions because I want to be able to work in secular counseling situations, but right now I'm starting to think that maybe I should go for it. I have a fairly pushy recruiting agent at Capella who won't like me to withdraw. I'm already accepted and he's been badgering me to start in Februrary, but I've finally told him that I won't start until March at the earliest. Now I'm reconsidering again, but I'll have to decide by the end of February. Hopefully I'll have a job by then.

C.S. Lewis has also been a nice companion since Christmas. Some friends of mine gave me an Amazon.com giftcard, so I used it buy some of his books. So far I'm enjoying them immensely. I've always liked Lewis; he has a brilliant way of outlining Truth in a way that makes it graspable. Certainly he isn't right on everything, but who is? I've been mostly reading his fiction works: Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, That Hideous Strength (The Cosmic/Space Trilogy), and a collection of short and unfinished stories entitled The Dark Tower and Other Stories. Some are strange, but most are excellent. I'll review the Cosmic Trilogy later. Now I'm out of his fiction (I left Till We Have Face at home) so I'm reading The Four Love again (so far my favorite Lewis book) and random essays from God in the Dock and Christian Reflections.

So here I am in Texas, looking for a job, doing research on Master's, enjoying Mr. Lewis's well-written literature, and thinking about what I want to do with my life. Pray for direction for me, if you think about it.

Book Update #1

As some of you will remember, I published a rather intense and ambitious list of books I intended to read this summer. Unfortunately, things are not quite going as I would like, and I haven't gotten as far as I should have liked. I have finished three books, and am well into another four. Here's a brief run-down and a brief statement about each:

The Hiding Place, by Corrie ten Boom - I've already written about this one a few posts back.

Psalms: Prayerbook of the Bible, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Excellent short intro to the Psalms, placing them into a setting I had never before thought of. In short, Bonhoeffer suggests that the Psalms should be viewed as Christ's prayers, and our (or the original Psalmist's) prayers through Christ. This book is very short. I used it as my tram reading for about 1 week and was finished. I highly suggest it though.

For Men Only - An interesting glimpse into the minds of women. While I found it educational and helpful, it's probably better suited for men who are already married or in a committed relationship. This was my second "tram reading" book.

Life Together, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer - I started this one (again) right after arriving, but have to put it down after every few pages because of one of two reasons: 1) It's so deep that I have to think about what has been said, or 2) It's so convicting I have to repent and rethink normal approach to Christian community. Again, an excellent book.

The Cost of Discipleship, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer - I'm almost 3/4 done with this book, and it's proven to be the deepest and hardest. One has to remember Bonhoeffer's setting, or one will be tempted to think he has crossed the line multiple times into heresy. But the book is still rich with deep meaning.

The Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis - This book has easily become my favorite Lewis book (no easy task). I'm always amazed how a non-theologian English professor could have such insight into theology, philosophy, psychology, sociology, etc. Convicting but excellent. A perfect companion to Bonhoeffer's Life Together.

The Politics of Repentance, by Andre Trocme - I've only read the introduction, but already I'm fascinated by some aspects and concerned by others. Trocme was a French pacifist. However, unlike most pacifists, I think he has earned the right to be heard because of his amazing ability to live a pacifistic life during WWII while still resisting the Nazis' rule. Indeed, perhaps he did more for the Resistance (or at least the Jews) than most French (or Dutch, or Belgian, or Danish, or Norwegian, or Polish, or....) militants.

The Middle Road

In our current environment of extremism, whether it be political, religious, or some other issue, I have found, and continue to find, C.S. Lewis’ following quote quite telling. You see, when we begin a new subject of study, if we are honestly seeking for the Truth, we do not enter into that study with a preconceived belief. However, after only a short amount of study, we become intimately familiar with a particular error on one side of the discussion or another. That error so consumes us that we often turn so passionately and so firmly against it that we have unwittingly embraced the opposite, equally malicious error.

I feel a strong desire to tell you–and I expect you feel a strong desire to tell me–which of these two errors is the worse. That is the devil getting at us. He always sends errors into the world in pairs–pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why, of course? He relies on your extra dislike of the one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not let us be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight between both errors. We have no other concern than that with either of them.

This applies to any subject one can think of:

• In economics, one may see the vast problems of communism and so embrace pure capitalism as if it were the perfect answer. Or visa-versa.
• In language, one may understand the idiocy of thinking that words have no meaning and thereby assume that words will always have the same meaning. Or visa-versa.
• In business, one may understand the importance of making a profit and conclude that he must make a profit at any cost. Or visa-versa.
• In politics, we may see the problems inherent to the Republican Party (Conservative) and so embrace the errors of the Democratic Party (Liberal). Or visa-versa.
• In theology, we may either reject God’s sovereignty or us it to blame Him for our actions. Or visa-versa.
• In doctrine, we may reject certain twisting of Truth in one denomination so hardily that we also reject the Truth that has been twisted yet remains in that denomination. Or visa-versa.

It would seem that almost anytime one is placed in the position of having a belief that must be either this or that, and this and that are complete opposites of each other, that neither this nor that are likely to really be the Truth, but instead are usually two equally evil twisting of what the Truth really is.